With gas prices nearing $4 a gallon on the average, I started thinking about ways a person could save a few bucks for the summer by using less fuel. Here is what I have so far:
*Get on a roof and jump while flapping your arms really hard. Then enjoy the free ambulance ride. Jump out at the nearest Bed, Bath and Beyond and load up on bath soaps. At some point, you will want to get your bones fixed from the fall, though.
*Skateboard behind cars like Marty McFly. However, be careful. This is incredibly dangerous and I cannot recommend this to anyone unless you have seen the movie at least three times. Check out Back to the Future II and III just in case you only have access to a hover-board. Or if you like stupid movies.
*Stop driving to make out point and have sex in a park like everyone else.
*Quit job. Get welfare.
*Start reading the Never Ending Story and ride that giant flying dog-worm around. Look out for his patches of mange, though. After a couple of months, sell him to science.
*Only go to places downhill. When you get to Death Valley, retire.
All of these beat driving 55 on the Interstate, guaranteed.
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